Greetings to you all. This is Issue No. 13. If this is the first issue you are reading you have missed all the history in all those past 12 issues. If you want back copies let me know; they cost the same as your subscription. Come and live in Canada where they cost the least.|
I couldn't think of what to say as an opener....and then September 11th happened. Some sniveling cowardly arrogant bastards, who believe they have a cause (what is it by the way?) sucker-punched New York and have changed the world forever. I hope the money behind these barbarians gets hit and the bankrollers get what they deserve. By the way, here in Canada, EVERY religion that wants to be one, can be one. Of course Christmas cannot be called that at schools anymore, it's now "Festive holiday season". But eight people in Afghanistan were actually arrested for spreading Christianity....What is wrong with this picture?
The problem is if they jail Bin Laden, forever more there will be supporters kidnapping hostages to get Bin Laden released. If they execute him he will become a martyr and thousands of would-be-martyrs will do copy-cat deeds. I believe they should kidnap Bin Laden...take him to USA and perform a sex change operation on him. Then send him (her) back to Kabul so he can see how women are treated in Afghanistan.
OK, so now I can get on with my feeble apology for getting this issue out so late. Up until a few months ago, there was so little news I wondered if I should simply bow out of the project altogether, then fate took over.
From the very first issue of Lusaka News, nearly 10 years ago, I had been asking if anyone knew where Bruce Milne lived; I heard nothing. I figured he was either dead, or living with some lost tribe in the jungles of South America (if you knew Bruce, neither possibility is that far-fetched!). In the middle of July I got an E-Mail from Ian Campbell, a friend I hung around with in Lusaka back in early 1960. Ian found me on the Internet and he knew where Bruce was. Bruce lived near Perth in Scotland and Ian lived in England (London, when the mood strikes and Devon (or France) at other times). I got phone numbers and phoned both friends, who both suggested I visit them. Then, out of the blue, on the same day, I get an E-Mail from Brian Geyser. Yes, the same lead in The Aces, our own little band from Lusaka. I phoned him right away and he too suggested I should visit him.
My birthday (60!!!! Can you believe it?) was August 24th. I was struggling to come up with what to do. On the one hand it was just another day, yet it was surely a milestone (and a miracle that I had lived) so plans began to form. I love trains and was considering an across USA trip. Then I wanted to go somewhere and play my guitar (maybe a monastery with guitar playing Monks who would force me to play every day?). Then my sister Mary suggested I come to England for my birthday; hadn't seen my nieces kids for a while, so we made the big decision and....combined everything, and here's what we did.
Helene and I flew to London on Aug 14th. Took a train to Perth in Scotland and spent 3 days with Bruce and his Wife Bella, and their two great kids, Sean and Natasha. Bruce supplies smoked salmon, venison, grouse, pheasant and other gourmet foods, to local pubs, restaurants and hotels. Bruce forced me to sample many of his products; one would have thought he would not have made me work after not seeing me for 30 ish years. We had a lovely time, lied about our exploits and toasted ourselves many times over. Bella and Helene simply shrugged as our tales became taller each day. All too soon our visit was over and we headed off to London.
On August 22nd we met with Ian and Sue Campbell in their delightful townhouse in West Kensington. We spent a lovely time with them. Last time I saw either was at their lovely home where I had dinner with them in London in 1965, just before I left for Canada. Helene had never met either. In two short days we walked through Richmond Park and visited a few great pub and generally tried catching up with all those past years. It was all over too soon and we were back to my sister's house in Welwyn Garden City on my birthday.
The birthday celebrations were a family affair with my nieces twin five year old girls and seven year old boy; they and the fish and chips made it a really satisfying evening. And, here's some news....the ONLY adult birthday party I have ever had without any booze; didn't miss it a bit. But, I can hardly wait for the next one!
On August 25th, a lovely Saturday , my sister Mary drove Helene and I up to Oxfordshire, to see Brian Geyser and his Wife, Julia. They live in a lovely home in a very small village. Also visiting that day were Ronnie and Sha Gordon; I had phoned them to let them know I had found Brian (well he found me actually) and they had arranged to meet at the same time as us. Brian Miller was also supposed to be there, but no-show. Let me say we had a terrific day. Plenty of food and copious libations and, naturally, Brian had his guitar at the ready and played all those "Shadows" tunes. It truly was an event that turned back the clock as we reminisced about those great days back when the music was easier on the ear.
You know I hated it when my Father didn't seem to understand why we loved Elvis, Bill Haley, Cliff Richard, Gerry Lee Lewis and Gene Vincent, etc. I swore I would never be that way as "other" music came about. I have loved all music (yes even Saturday Night Fever's disco beat); but RAP...I'm sorry...in our Gilbert Rennie Latin class it would have been entitled "Loadus of Crapus". So it was a joy to listen to Brian and all those great tunes.
We then spent a pleasant evening at the local Welwyn Garden City pub with Billy Laing. He brought us some of his homemade biltong which was absolutely fantastic and it went in a day. Billy seems quite content with his lot in life in England. Perhaps one day he will contribute an article describing the transition and the good things against any bad. We discussed all those memories we all carry. Sue was at work so Billy drank her share. Good fun to meet up with old mates.
Then, on August 31st, Helene went off to the south of England to see an old girlfriend she knew from Vancouver and I flew off to Johannesburg, to spend a week with my friend Hugh Cumming. Hugh lives in Fourways and almost opposite the new big Casino built within the past few years. He runs a sales training company called "Sales Impact" and also is in the vintage guitar business. Check out his web site at "Hughsfineguitars.com".
Well, I own a great guitar (a Morgan, handcrafted right here in Vancouver...a great instrument and an investment extraordinaire) and Hugh has the sole distributorship for Morgans, in Africa. He also has about 14 other fantastic guitars. What I needed was to become absorbed in guitar playing so I could practice back home with renewed enthusiasm.....Wow! I got what I wanted. Hugh had flown to North Carolina in April this year. Helene and I had driven from Phoenix and together we drove to a bluegrass music festival for four days of pure joy. So Hugh really is into guitars; plays magnificently and has a band. Need them for a gig, call him and arrange a fee. He beat me with a stick every day until my fingers bled. But I learned a lot....good job Chet Atkins died 'cos the world is too small for him and me! Hugh was most accommodating; I had a great time. All too soon he was driving me to the airport and I was on that BA flight back to Heathrow.
I got to Heathrow at 6 AM on Tuesday September 11th; the place was quiet and virtually empty. A short trip on the underground and then a 35 minute train from King's Cross Station to Welwyn Garden City and I was back at sister Mary's home. And then, at just after noon GMT, the world changed; we watched in horror (as I'm sure everyone else did) as the World Trade Centre got hit. Those swines - We have to get them.
Our flight back to Canada was scheduled for Friday 14th at 1:40 PM, on Air Canada. Everyday we phoned to check the status; every day we were told "there's no way you will be flying out this week". On Friday we were leaving to visit relatives, when I decided to check, at 10:00 AM, as to the likelihood of us flying out on the weekend. Here's the reply I got "Sir, your flight is leaving today, get here NOW". We hadn't packed and had all sorts of other plans, but within 20 minutes we were packed and in Mary's car driving to Heathrow. We got there at 11:30 AM and, after lining up outside the terminal for 4 hours, then herded into a parking garage for 5 hours more, we actually flew out at 9:30 PM. Regardless of the tiresome day, at least we (unlike those poor sods in four US Planes that day) made it home safely. With the 8 hour time difference we got to bed at 9 AM GMT
So, here we are in Vancouver in November. We go to Arizona in January to soak up the sun and decide what to do for the rest of our lives? But what else has been going on since you last read Lusaka News? Well here's what I know. Because I accumulate news some subscribers send in timely items (E.G. Marilyn sending me an e-mail the day after her Father's death) but due to my schedule, my tardiness, no other news, blah! blah! many items are now quite old. Lately there seems to always be some sad news, and the first:
- Ken Du Plooy passed away last month. I don't know precise details but I picked up the news from Vic Bekker and I have confirmed it from two sources. Sorry Ken, you had made a name for yourself in Belize and seemed to have found a niche for yourself. Another friend bites the dust. Keep your chin up Judy. All the best for the future; let me know any change in address and your wishes re Lusaka News.
- Mr. Rowe-Roberts, our old headmaster at Gilbert Rennie, died of a massive stroke on April 16th this year. He was an honourable man and impacted most of us who were at GR when he was there. He was in his eighties when he died.
- On October 1st, 2000, Jim & Sonja Buchanan became official Grandparents. Their son Ian and his wife, Sam, living in Terrace, in Northern BC, are proud parents of Liam, a fine young boy. Mother and baby doing fine...Sonja doing fine....Jim? Not sure!
- Mary Hughes (well known sister of Bwana Mkubwa publisher) is really doing well in her career with "Creative Memories". Here is an opportunity for anyone to either get to know how to put together a decent set of photo albums, or even to become involved and make some pocket money...or more. I'm quite certain that you could contact Mary anytime and she would answer all your questions.
- There are a number of photographs in this issue.....those from Lusaka came mostly from Margaret Walisko - nee McIntyre and Jannie Cowan. Dave Gerber and Liz Knight also sent pictures. Yours truly took the others.
- Rodney Hargreaves completed the New York Marathon on the weekend of November 3rd. Just to apply and get accepted is an effort; to actually participate is quite a feat...to win....well! He finished in under 5 hours; as he says "not pretty, but I finished". Congrats Rod. And next year?.
- Bruce Milne. Bruce lives with wife, Bella at: Mill Cottage, Milton of Collace, Perthshire (nr. Burrelton) Scotland PH13 9PP. Phone. 01821 650 761 E-Mail Bruce@game-foods.co.uk. Bruce lived in Lusaka from 1950-1962 (ish). Went to Lusaka Boy's School, Gilbert Rennie. Worked for Dunlop Rhodesia, (next door to Cyril Came's Panelbeaters on Stanley Rd.- a particularly useful location!).
Bruce used to hang around with some very influential people (Pawson and Swan) who kept him out of trouble by hiding him away at places like the Woodpecker, Q-Inn, Blue Boar, Chipongwe and Travellers. Many auto panelbeaters made maningi money from the results of these ventures..
Bruce went to Kitwe before leaving NR to Gwelo in 1964 and then to UK in 1966. He has worked for the oil industry in the middle east and USA before sort of almost retiring in Scotland. Bruce and Bella have a son, Sean and Daughter, Tasha, both of whom live nearby. Glad I found you Bruce. Glad you're alive.
- Ian Campbell Ian and wife Sue live at: 3 Cowley Place, Cowley, Exeter, EX5 5DG. UK Phone: 01392434889 E-Mail: Ianscampbell@cs.com.
They also have a townhouse in London, as well as a home in France. Ian spends a lot of time on his yacht; notably Sue does not! That property business in Hong Kong for 25 years must have helped huh? Ian lived near the NRP headquarters on Wallace Rd. near the old Ridgeway Hotel and he, Bruce and I hung around for the short while Ian lived in Lusaka (1952 through 1961) but he went to schools down south, so most didn't know him until his mature (ish) years.
Retired now, Ian and Sue have 3 children and have a pretty nice relaxing life. Welcome aboard Ian & Sue.
- Brian Geyser - Brian and Julia (nee Phillips) and we live in a small village in Oxfordshire.
Hi Ken My Wife Julia and I have now been married for 37 years, our only child is a daughter Tammy, she is 31 this year, married for 4 years and also living in UK. No grandchildren yet. My companies web site is www.marshalls-industrial.co.uk this site also links us to our customers and VW Germany. Check it out. We cover the supply of VW industrial engines and OEM parts for the UK and Ireland. This year we formed another company called Energy Pollution Control Ltd. I know it is difficult for people who once knew me to see that I now own part of a successful company, given my wild past history but I have proved that it can be done.
You asked me about my bands in Lusaka. The first group was "The Jeanagers" Jim Buchanan (publisher's note... Buchanan was so good he went on to become a electrician!) and also Mike Judd I was the vocalist. Jim played Rhythm and Mike played lead. I eventually took over lead from Mike.
My 2nd Band "The Rebels" were Tony Vanrooyen on Rhythm, Ches Zydp on Bass, John Decock on Drums and I played Lead. This Group was Axed by the NRP as there was a riot at the Scout Hall one night, and they said that our music was a bad influence on the teenage population (Publisher's Comment - so was mellowood brandy but that was never banned...damn NRP...so maniacal.)
The 3rd Group Was "The Aces" with Geoff Mossop on Bass, Veldin Bekker on Rhythm, Mickey Stagg on Drums, my Niece Brenda Petzer was a vocalist, she was later replaced by Cheryl Flemming and John Brown on vocals, I played lead and also covered vocals.
The Fourth Group Was "The Kingpins" with Geoff Mossop on bass, Doug Donation on Rhythm, Mickey Stagg on Drums and I covered Lead and vocals.
The Fifth Group was "The Crusaders" I played keyboards, Lead Guitar and back up vocals, Kosta Constatino on Bass Guitar and back up vocals, Roger Sheard on Rhythm guitar, keyboard and vocals, Manuel Marques drums, vocals and band leader. Hans Kuenzle managed this group. Later Jim Facey joined us as a vocalist when we were entering our psychedelic era.
I moved to the Copperbelt met with Jock Hampton (anyone know where he is?) and we formed another group "Instant Karma". Tom Caine played bass guitar, Roy Darvell rhythm guitar, Gary Taylor drums, Jock Hampton main vocalist. I have not been in, or formed any bands in the UK, my main objective was to survive in a country where I knew nobody.
We left Lusaka in 1968 for Chingola. Then moved to Kitwe in 1969. Left Zambia in 1978 for Malawi. Arrived in UK January 1st 1980. For two years we were on the financial borderline, until I got a job with a VW Dealership in Reading. This dealership was a family business they also owned other VW dealerships and a body shop. It was with one of the brothers with whom I formed a partnership on the 5th November 1995.
I still have loads of electrical equipment, PA's and have a room for my music. Some years ago I managed to acquire a genuine Hank b Marvin fender Stratacaster, echo chamber and a 1963 Vox AC30 Amplifier. I do treasure this equipment as it was always my ambition for me to play with his gear. I'm a happy man.
- June Bryce (nee Nancarrow) - Flat 3-29 Oxford Rd. Birkdale, Southport, Merseyside PR8 2EG UK Phone: 01704 - 562286 E-Mail : firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Ken, Your newsletter, which I found very interesting, was forwarded to me by Liz Knight. We see each other occasionally. I might add my husband John found it interesting as well, even though he has never lived in Zambia but lived in Johannesburg for 40 years!. Herewith a few details of my life in Lusaka.
Arrived in Lusaka in 1949 with my parents and sister Wendy. Father worked at the Power Station for a while before moving into Labour & Mines and becoming Inspector of Apprentices and being transferred to live in Ndola with Wendy. My parents divorced in 1951. That same year I married Doug Collins, who at first worked in PWD and then moved to Game & Fisheries. We lived in various areas of Lusaka, Woodlands being one of them and then moved eventually to live in Chilanga. I worked in 'European' Education, Civil Aviation, and Agriculture dept for about 13 years. During those years we use to have our 6 months overseas leaves and we were members of Lusaka Club, where Doug and I built up a reputation of being among those who were 'last to leave' on Saturday nights after the dances, where evening dress was essential and the music was just records!!!! Our friends included then the Russell Cooks, Norman Taylor,(now deceased) Jack & Margaret Mealing. Les and Topsy Auty, Ted Keenan, the last three being in turn Government Printer. I would love to know what happened to the Autys as they are the only people I know who emigrated to Tasmania. Other friends included Jackie and Simon Raleigh, now living in Berkshire and still on my Xmas card list. Others are Hester and Eric Hill, Denise Purchase,(who sees the Gerbers) and Betty Pace -wife of Raymond Pace (now deceased). All living in Capetown.
Eventually in 1964, Doug left Govt and joined Murray & Roberts and we moved to Kitwe. My life made a dramatic change, Doug and I split up and I married Ernest Guy, a Quantity Surveyor from Bristol. We left Kitwe and went to settle in JHB, left there for Gaberone, Botswana for a 18 month contract, where unfortunately Guy (his nickname) died in 1950. I then joined sister Wendy now married to Rex Lezard, and living in Jhb with 2 daughters. I unluckily never had children of my own. I lived and worked in Jhb, mainly for Southern Suns hotels. I'm a member of Wanderers Club and married John Bryce (ex Southport) in 1990. There I remained very friendly with several ex Zambians and Zims people. Amongst those Liz, Ian Ellis etc., the Hills and lots more. In 1997, John and I made the monumental decision to leave our beloved Africa where we lived the 'good life', and returned to England for several reasons, with which one only seems to be confronted in the retirement age group. But it's a good place to retire in, there is plenty to do and see and both being in good health get around quite a lot and enjoy a lot of walking, weather permitting! Southport is well situated for numerous beauty spots and National Parks in UK. Sister Wendy lives in Surrey and we visit her as often as we can.
Other places where I worked, were Chilanga Cement, Deloittes, British High Commission, Edwards & Burrow, and even the Ridgeway Hotel for a few weeks in a temp job. How pleased we were to see that hotel opened and where a lot of us enjoyed drinks by the Pool, the dinner dances and all the entertainment it provided for us. It changed our lives!!! gave us another form of entertainment other than the Clubs and the Grand and Lusaka hotels!!!! I could go on and on, but will stop here and get this thru to you as promised on my application form, which I have already posted to you. Cheers for now, Yours very sincerely, June Bryce
- Valerie Minnie (nee Simpson) - Date: 10/22/2001 6:24:44 PM PST
Hello Ken: Well here are the details you asked for: Valarie Minnie (nee Simpson) Lived on The Ridgeway and then we moved out to Makeni. Father owned Ridgeway Engineering. Went to boarding school in Cape Town and also to Jean Rennie. Married Warrick Minnie who was a Southern Rhodesian working on contract for Brian Colhoun and Partners. We left Zambia in 1972. My mailing address is: 17820 NE 8th Place, Bellevue, WA 98008 USA - Phone: 425 747 2482 email: email@example.com Hope this is all that you need. Happy to subscribe. Valerie
The Mail Bag (Some of these letters were handwritten, some by E-Mail, many arrived a long time ago -Sorry!)
- Date: 04/03/2001 - From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Andrew Carlin)
I have received an application from June Bryce re joining, which I should very much like to do having been born in Lusaka. Please let me know how one goes about joining when living in South Africa. Daresay you must have some members from these parts. This e-mail address is my daughters and you can contact me on it. Look forward to hearing from you, Sincerely, Pamela Ridler du Toit
- Date: 05/28/2001 From: email@example.com (Peter Morris)
Hey Guys & Dolls, Look who just sent me an e-mail !! Read below. Kind regards, Peter Morris
57 Caversham Road, Pinetown 3610, PO Box 1884, Pinetown 3600, Ph 031-702 1987 Fax 31-701 1035
From: Onjay Edelman [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Hi Peter, I was looking through the old names on GNR world wide, man it brought back some great memories, of the swimming training days with Otters and Olympians in Lusaka. I left in May 1970 for Salisbury. We spent 9 great years in Greystone Park had two sons and a great job. We transferred to Durban in May of 1980 and again after a fantastic 9 years moved to Perth. We have had 12 years and really love this place, we have been very lucky, both boys have moved out of home, the eldest is married and the other lives with his girlfriend in a house they recently bought together. The eldest, Brett, is in partnership with me in a couple of businesses we operate. We are often in SA; on our next trip will contact you. Please pass my best wishes on to Kenny. Regards, Andrzej Edelman, Western Australia, Ph: (08) 9402 2525 Fax: (08) 9401 7483 E-Mail: email@example.com
- Date: 05/29/2001 From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Wendy Nichols)
Hi Ken! What's happened? Have you got lost or given up trying to track us all down? I am suffering withdrawal symptoms from not having a Lusaka News to read. I hope you are O.K. or is the thought of getting all the names and addresses too daunting a task to put together! Thanks for Jannie Cowan's Email just before you went to Arizona ? I connected with Jan and Anke and it was great to compare notes. I really appreciate all the time you must spend on us old Lusaka-ites, I never was a good correspondent but with the advent of Email it makes it quite easy. Our local rag had a picture of Paddy Allen (the eldest one) with his diabetic dachshund the other day! He has pure white hair but otherwise doesn't look any different. Do you remember him? (I do remember him well...and what colour hair does Paddy have? - Pub.)
Keith Lockett from the NRP also lives here. He was mainly posted on the Copperbelt. I see him quite often. Hilary and George Colley are coming to us for a meal on Sunday. I know you got together with them when you were last over here - so how about you make another trip sometime soon? We can have a good old get-together! Love, Wendy
- Date: 4/17/2001 From: email@example.com (Richard Carter)
Dearest Ken, Just a brief note to let you know that Dad died yesterday morning. He had a massive stroke last week and it proved too much for him. I feel so sad and devastated. Anyway......thought you might like to know. love, Marilyn.(nee Rowe-Roberts).
- From : Margaret Walisko, 1 Little Common Road, Bexhill-on-Sea, East Sussex TN39 4HU, England.
3lst March 2001 Dear Ken, I was in Lusaka last month (February) visiting my mother, Peggy McIntyre (NOTE: I have since spoken to Margaret. She informs me that her Mother passed away in May, and she had been back to Lusaka for the arrangements.- Pub) and my sister, Tracy McColm. I enclose some photos. I have written on the back of them where they were taken. See the 20th Century Cinema is now a church and the Ridgeway Hotel is now a Holiday Inn and that the Boys' School is just the same; It is now an Education Centre.
All three roads that cross the railway track into Cairo Road now have bridges over them. Cairo Road itself is quite scruffy and there is a parking fee of K1,000 a day which is quite well done. You buy a ticket from the first parking attendant you meet and just produce it whenever any other one approaches you, so you can move your car around town on the same ticket. As the exchange rate is over K5,000 to £1, it is not very expensive. I cashed £200 and became an instant millionaire! The cost of living is much lower than UK, but so are wages.
The biggest complaint was the price of petrol at just over US$1.00 per litre. Also the state of the roads left much to the desired, although the main roads like Cairo Road and Church Road were OK. Makeni Road was dreadful. Because of the potholes, vehicles tend to swerve to avoid them, but if traffic is heavy and there are a lot of pedestrians to stop you leaving the road, you sometimes have to drive into them. The worst thing, though, are the traffic lights which only work on one side or on one colour. I suppose its all right if you are used to them, but its quite disconcerting if you're not. There are quite a few in Lusaka now which aren't at all necessary, like at the junction of Lincoln Road and Kabulonga Road. These are partly functional and it's mainly guesswork as to when to stop and go.
On Ash Wednesday we went to the Convent Chapel. Fortunately, we were early because it was packed by the time mass started. Not only were we the only ones that weren't black, we were also the only ones over 30. There was over 500 there. Packed neatly in at 12 or 13 to a bench. Apart from a few missing bits of parquet flooring, the chapel hadn't changed at all since it was built. Unfortunately it was about 6pm; too dark for photos.
My nephew is a geologist working at the Emerald Mine about 60 miles from Kitwe and he comes home once a fortnight. Because of the high cost of petrol and the state of the roads, he goes by coach and he leaves Lusaka at about 4pm on Sunday afternoon from the old railway station. However, there is no set time for departure. The bus (or coach) goes when it's full. This seems to work quite well, but only because there are quite a few of them going all Sunday afternoon. We had lunch at the Holiday Inn (Ridgeway Hotel) and were late for the coach so he got on a minibus for about £4 or £5 and was offered the front seat.
(Click for full-size image.)
Picture of the Class of '63 taken at the Convent. Starting with the nearest, we were:- 1 Clare Fitzgibbon, 2. Patsy Cooper, 3. Pat Fox - 2nd. Row : Hazel Anderson, 2. Alexis Smith, 3. Shirley Price, 4. Kitty Barclay - 3rd. Row: Verity Hone, 2. Cynthia Nodder, 3. Margaret McIntyre (me), 5. Patricia Beaton - Zubeda Patel, 2. (Don't remember), 3. Noreen Wincell, 4. Anne Ince - 4th Row: Mildred, 2. Jean Richardson, 3. Susan Reid and Sister Amadare? (I think?).
According to a recent census, there are two million people in Lusaka now. Although I didn't know many of them, I still know enough people to throw a party! This E mail address will only be here until Easter when the computer moves to Manchester. You can still use it after Easter and my daughter will forward it. (Hopefully). Margaret
- From: Elizabeth Knight. Dear Ken, Thanks for my first issue of Lusaka news. I am the sister-in-law of Ian K. Ellis, whose letter was published in Vol. V!!, Issue 1. My Father was Jack Baker, Station Master, Lusaka, for 11 years before 1964.
I am enclosing a photo of the production of "The Merry Widow", Theatre Club, Lusaka ca. 1972. I can name some of the folks....Left to right, Ladies 4 & 5 myself and Jeanette Leese (Fred, her husband, had a stationery business in Queens House, Cairo Rd.). The two leading ladies were Gill Wheeler (husband Paul was in Police), and Tersia Taljaard. The short man at the back was John Kuhn, who married Joy, who is next to Jeanette. I have forgotten the names of the rest of the cast.
(Click for full-size image.)
I spent many happy hours at the theatre club. I remember Monkey & Yvonne Farrell; also Ted Keenan (Govt. Printers) and Geoff & Norma Marsh. Other well known entertainers were Hamish Robertson, George Peddy. Les Allen formed a group in drag of the Andrews Sisters and Carmen Maranda; I forget who Carmen was...they both worked for Rhodesia Railways.
I was married to Taffy Owen; we were divorced while in Kasama, where we were posted after Mongu. I married Colin Finn in Lusaka. He and I divorced 12 years later in Jo'Burg. I married John Knight in but he passed away in 1995. That's when I moved to Bath, in England. Kind regards, Elizabeth Knight (nee Baker, Owen, Finn).
MESSAGE - Here's someone looking for a long lost friend. If anyone can help contact Lusaka News or Ian Watson directly, with a copy to Lusaka news Please.
Date: 11/13/2001 From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Ian Watson)
Got your address from Great North Road - wondered if you could help in tracing an old friend from Zambia Airways name of Jill Hayward-Jones, who was secretary to Paddy Burke, Traffic manager of ZA at that time. That was her maiden name; don't know her married name or whether she stayed in Zambia or departed for foreign parts. Would appreciate any help you may feel able to give.
(Click for full-size image.)
Say, isn't this a lovely photo of Jack & Sigrid Fischer, on the beach in San Diego. You guys look terrific. Jack, you are looking not too bad even if you are nearly 49?
OK, I know you can hardly wait for the latest jokes. Apparently the only new ones seem to be in Canada (at least those that are printable!). So here are a few laffs for you.
The First Affair - There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the Wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."
The Second Affair - A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong.
The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.
"Oh my God!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"
The Third Affair - A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered."Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
The Fourth Affair - A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaimed the guy, the barman replied "Yes."
So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents", he replies. "4 cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the Guy who owns this place?"
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."
The Fifth Affair - Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly and said. "My darling Becky," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky. "Everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your Sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your Mother!"
"I know" Becky whispered softly. "That's why I poisoned you"
I believe a newsletter should be educational and, as many of us missed out on a real education because of social factors (The Blue Boar, the Woodpecker, The Q-Inn, The Travellers, etc.etc) here is some general knowledge that might help you as you go through life? Remember too as you read these "Gems", that you could have been reading much funnier jokes IF YOU HAD ONLY SENT SOME IN!!!!!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
- Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
- Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
- There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
- The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
- A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
- There are more chickens than people in the world.
- Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
- The longest one-syllable word in the English language is screeched."
- On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
- All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
- No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
- "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
- All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial, on the back of the $5 bill.
- Almonds are a member of the peach family.
- Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
- Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
- There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
- Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula"
- A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
- Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
- In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
- Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
- The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street, were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."
- A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
- A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
- A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
- It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
- The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
- In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
- The microwave was invented, after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
- Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
- The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
- There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
- "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.
OK....that's the last joke.
So, with no more news I am going to end this edition. By the way, in a changeover of computers I believe I may have lost some data. If any of you had sent in material and do not see it here...OOPS! Please send again...send news and pictures please.
I hope the photos get your juices flowing and maybe get you all to dig into those old shoeboxes and retrieve them. Just to let you know that I can e-mail you any photos of Lusaka in full colour. I could not duplicate them in here, in colour, as the cost is prohibitive ($1 a page x 4 pages x 100 subscribers....Hey, I'm retired and the stock market is killing me.) That is why I am considering modifying this newsletter in written form and begin a web site or an e-mail version. That way colour photos are not an expense issue. On the other hand many of you are not interested in e-mail and many have no access to a computer, and have asked for the hard copies to continue. What to do? Decisions decisions! You'll all know when I know, I guess.
Meanwhile keep sending in those e-mails and photos and news items. And if there is a renewal form enclosed, please follow instructions and send the right amount to the right place in the right currency. Thanks amigos.